We are quick to blame; forever and always. We are human and blaming is a natural instinct – we even go to the extent of blaming our creator unnecessarily. Think about it, why don’t we ever think of the worst that could’ve happened if the person we always blame the Lord for taking was still alive?
Surely, nobody has thought of that which then substantiates my claim that blaming is so natural for us humans. Isn’t it the first thing we ask when our loved ones pass away… “Why Lord? Why him/her? It’s too soon,” Too soon? “God is always on time” Not to seem heartless or anything as such – I mean, nobody hasn’t yet lost someone they love dearly. Whether they passed away in their sleep or in a tragic accident, the pain we feel when we lose someone we love is the same.
Days, weeks, months and years pass and we wonder amongst ourselves with broad smiles fixed upon our faces, ‘How would things be if they were still around?’ That question always results in each and everyone in the room at that moment mentioning all the wonderful changes that would’ve happened… “We would be living in the suburbs by now, he would’ve bought us a house there since he had a lust for peaceful places,” and someone else from another household would shout out, “She would’ve bought me a laptop as I requested, since she promised to buy it for me when I get to college,” and as usual the conversations conclude with, “Ah, we would be so happy!”
Alright, fantasizing is probably healthy for brain but then again, we have to face reality at the end of the day. You would be happy, you say? Everything would be perfect if your father hadn’t been taken away from you by the Lord? Perhaps the risk of having him taken away from you by another woman is better? Yeah? Again, we do not think about the worst that could’ve happened. It’s life, we’re human, we do things like these – we hurt the people we love, never deliberately though.
You’d be happy hadn’t your best friend been taken away from you? You know, we never really notice who is bad for us and usually family easily identifies the bad people we associate ourselves with. With that said, your best friend was probably going to hurt you in the long run or change you for the worst even – unintentionally of course. They are your best friend right? So if they start doing drugs, you would start doing drugs too (well maybe that’s a terrible example). Anyway, your parents could be crying and praying every night hoping you come back to your senses.
The good that comes out of having someone close to your heart taken away from you is the strength you gain. You become strong, you gain internal biceps and abs, you become Hulk (mentally and emotionally… Physically? We have gyms for that).
Honestly, the death of somebody close to us changes our perspective in life. You value life; you see beauty in everything and everyone. It enables you to put yourself in someone’s shoes. You become a helping-hand. The things your beloved used to say are permanently implanted in your mind – they motivate you, energize you, they keep you going and they make you want to be a better person or a person they would be proud of.
You get people walking around with negativity in their heads convinced that nothing is going to work out anymore and they mourn the death of their loved ones for the rest of their lives. “Everything happens for a reason” yes, majority of the time we are clueless as to what that reason may be but see everything that happens as a good thing.
There is absolutely nothing good about having someone you love pass away but now see this as an opportunity for you to re-evaluate your life. It’s only natural to think about them every now and then however instead of focusing more on the memories you shared, focus more on the life lessons they taught you and the little things they used to say and let those things mold you and build you up.
Take it from a person who has lost two people – people whom I thought I could never survive without. I have no idea how things would be if they were still around and there is no point in trying to paint a picture. Truth is, I hardly think about them because it’s a better idea to focus on being the ideal daughter and grandchild and focus more on where I am going.
If you also feel as though a person who has passed away is always with you and watching your every move – give them something cool to watch and add some flops here and there because everybody loves a good laugh. Well all-in-all, remember this all day and everyday – “God is always on time” so trust his timing and believe that all is well.
9 Comments
Human beings are vulnerable. But they are also strong. Each handles grief in his or her own way. But I think they all eventually handle it.
That is indeed very true. Thank you so much for reading
Well said. Losing a loved one is always difficult but God knows why and when such departures are necessary. It can be difficult to accept at times but our loved ones would want us to live our ‘best’ lives regardless because they loved us and would want us to be happy even in their absence.
This is very true 💙!
Sounds like you have had some very powerful and difficult experiences and are doing your best to make sense of them. I hope that you continue to find strength and meaning in your life.
Life teaches you to toughen up when you least expect it. I figured it’s only reasonable to accept anything that happens and focus on a way forward from the situation😊. I appreciate your well wishes 💓
☺☺☺ this was so cool thank you for this post!
Your post reminds me of a TD Jakes sermon I watched recently in which he said something like, “You’re mad at God because he didn’t cure Grandma, but she was going to die anyway. You’re just mad that it wasn’t on your timetable.” Both he and you make a good point. Who’s going to say, “Okay, God. I’m done with Grandma, you can take her now”…?
That being said, however, my mom and brother died within six weeks of each other in 2007. They were my only family, but I’m glad they’re in a better place. This world is getting more messed up by the day.
Both of them within 6 weeks? Also, they were your only family? Oh my.. So sorry. And I’m actually glad that you have a positive attitude towards it – they are indeed in a better place 💕 . Thanks for sharing.