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Basic Male Guide to Female Communication

March 11, 2017 in Lifestyle, Tips - 2 min read

Most of the time, relationships are wrecked all because of something that could’ve been avoided so easily – learning how to communicate with females. I mean, females are tricky they hand out a million moods at once and it’s hard to catch up. Hopefully, after this mini guide, guys will be able to save their relationships by simply learning how females communicate.

  • When she says she is almost ready and asks you to give her 5 min – come with your fully charged laptop, connect your joystick and play your FIFA game in the car because she’s coming out the house in an hour, you might as well make yourself comfortable. [NB: Be outside though because she might just throw a tantrum if she peeks out the window and you aren’t there although reality is that she hasn’t yet decided on what she is going to wear and still needs to go iron whatever she decides on]
  • If you are texting her and all of a sudden she stops using emojis – READ UP… See where she stopped using them? That’s where you messed up brother. Humble yourself and correct yourself. If you don’t see anything wrong with what you said, kindly ask her to help you [NB: There is a greater chance that she will help you if you are smart enough to identify the text that ruined everything]
  • Do not, I repeat, do not ask her where she would like to eat because I guarantee you that she already knows she wants the Double Quarter Pounder with cheese from McDonalds with extra extra extra fries BUT she will look at you so innocently and say, “I don’t know”. TELL her where you are taking her (preferably a restaurant you know she doesn’t like) so that she can speak up and give suggestions.
  • When she tells you stories about her day and how she woke up to a cockroach crawling on her pillow, stories on how her cat died this morning and stories about struggling to find the right foundation and lipstick – ‘act’ interested in the stories and I put that in inverted commas because on the real, you couldn’t care less about the roach and the cat and you can’t relate to her story about the make-up. So act it out by gasping and using words like, ‘Oh my!’, ‘Really though?’, ‘Goodness me!’, ‘You lie!’ and sprinkle those words by using the appropriate facial expressions.

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GOOD LUCKΒ πŸ€


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25 Comments

  • SimplyUntamedNatonya March 11, 2017 at 03:40

    This was so good!!! I was shaking my head “yes” as I read this πŸ˜€

    • Mbalenhle March 11, 2017 at 22:37

      Thank you so much 😊

    • Oyama March 12, 2017 at 08:54

      Enhle 😊, you never ceases to amaze me.

      • Mbalenhle March 14, 2017 at 09:16

        Thank you OyamaπŸ˜†

  • deshboss March 11, 2017 at 11:06

    Number one πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thank you

    • Mbalenhle March 11, 2017 at 22:38

      πŸ˜‚ And thank you too for reading

  • Sne March 11, 2017 at 12:31

    I feel like you just wrote about me. Once one buddy

    • Mbalenhle March 11, 2017 at 22:39

      πŸ™ˆ Thank you

  • sthabile March 11, 2017 at 22:03

    I enjoy this…

    Don’t stop😊

  • Mbalenhle March 11, 2017 at 22:40

    Thanks Sthabile ❀ . Gotta help these fellas out hey πŸ˜„

  • WittyAyJ March 14, 2017 at 20:08

    this tips sounds weird but genuine simultaneously….
    are all girls bizzare like this 😝

    • Mbalenhle March 17, 2017 at 13:18

      We are all more or less like this πŸ˜‚

  • Moi March 15, 2017 at 17:44

    I didn’t realise that there were places in the world that did this. Shocking stuff really.

    Thanks for the follow on my blog.

  • levishedated (Robert C Day) March 17, 2017 at 12:10

    Hahaha – that’s so funny, and yet so … (oh, what’s that word – intuitive, prescient, informative, true, pervasive, persuasive, intelligent) … I don’t know. Anyways – it’s good. I like it. πŸ™‚
    Kindness – Robert.

  • andysmerdon March 23, 2017 at 11:33

    Excellent tips and very funny πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

    • Mbalenhle March 23, 2017 at 23:36

      Thank you for reading ☺

      • andysmerdon March 24, 2017 at 08:48

        The pleasure is mine Mbalenhle πŸ™‚

  • L.R.@TheRink March 26, 2017 at 14:30

    Hahaha! This is so true! Love the post!

    <3
    L.R.
    THE RINK

    • Mbalenhle March 26, 2017 at 14:47

      Thank you ☺

      • Thobani March 30, 2017 at 07:07

        The first point got me really hooked πŸ˜‚ *Plugging my PlayStation*

  • Mbalenhle March 30, 2017 at 09:56

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Š Glad I could help

  • K E Garland April 6, 2017 at 03:01

    Haha I remember teaching my hubby to “act interested” by throwing in a “whaaat???” and “Noooo” every now and then lol

    • Mbalenhle April 18, 2017 at 13:28

      Lol. It is very necessary, I hope he realises that

  • bowaleXO June 16, 2017 at 06:55

    Women, you’all are sooo amazing
    My mom often teaches me the do’s n don’t about for wen I get married (someday). I was like mom so u too are one dem, and she was like m I a man …lool
    I will add ds to my archive of what to know about women 😊

  • […] to help the gents understand their ladies and overall save their relationship by giving them aΒ Basic Male Guide to Female Communication. So this time around, I am helping the ladies out – this your guide to understanding your guy! […]

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    About Me

    Hi! I am Mbalenhle Khuzwayo, but everyone calls me Mbali for short. I am a writer, designer and a sucker for art and aesthetics. Welcome to my website, here you will find articles on social norms, travel advice, tips and hacks on everything lifestyle and marketing related. Sign up to the monthly newsletter for insights on the personal side of my life and exclusive tips Read More

    Mbalenhle K.

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