Things Don’t Get Better with Time

December 5, 2019 in Articles, Motivational - 3 min read

We have been told once too many times that ‘time heals all’, ‘it will get better with time’ and just ‘give it some time’ in every situation that might’ve emotionally hurt us. Unconsciously, we start believing it and wait on ‘time’ to help us get over the death of a loved one, a breakup with someone we had invested so much time, effort and energy on and to get over our failures too. But does time really help or do we merely use that as comfort and as a reason to continue moping in the name of ‘time will heal all’? It doesn’t get better with time, it’s all up to you.

Let’s think about the people we know personally who can’t seem to get over a dream they couldn’t pursue, a partner they broke up with or someone close to them that passed away, how long has it been since the incident happened? Yes, now that you are thinking about it you see that it’s been long enough. Now, you might also be wondering why it’s such a bad thing to hold on to someone you loved who has now passed away. It sounds cold to expect them to get over that, right? Right. But do you ever sit and consider the psychological, emotional and sometimes physical damage that has on the mourner? They mourn their loved one for so long because they ‘know’ that time heals all hence when the time is right, they will get back on their feet and get better.

What we haven’t thought about though is the idea that time doesn’t actually heal wounds. Think about this in the simplest form: You are a child playing in the yard, you hurt your knee, blood starts flowing. Yes, you cry because yes it hurts and at this age no one has ever told you that time heals wounds, so you don’t even think about it. Instead, you get up and do something about it! You apply disinfecting liquids and cover it with a band aid… life goes on. You forget about the pain until you or someone else touches it and that’s exactly how it is with every situation in adulthood too.

It’s all about perspective. You choose how you want to interpret things. Once you start realizing that it’s all just a matter of choice, you will start to notice how much time you have wasted waiting on time to change everything. Not achieving your goals is a bummer, agreed. But if you choose to take that as a sign that you will never amount to anything and you are not smart or good enough to make things happen for yourself then that’s on you, you will spend the rest of your time just thinking about that and not doing anything about it. 

Don’t let bad thoughts and negativity get comfortable with you. Change the way you see things – if someone you loved leaves you, don’t beat yourself up and claim that you will never be good enough for anyone else. Keep an open mind and heart, see this as a chance for you to really get to know yourself and get to know other people too, experiment to experience, explore and soon enough you’ll thank yourself for doing something about it.

Don’t let bad thoughts and negativity get comfortable with you

Bad things happen to us all the damn time, you are not special. We all go through it, no matter how big or small ‘it’ may be – we go through it and we grow through it. Move on, do something new, go somewhere you have never been before or introduce yourself to a new hobby, this will encourage you to shift the way you think and see things in a different light.

Things do not get better with time, it’s your perception that changes everything. Don’t forget that it’s all in your head. Choose yourself. Prioritize your mental health and well-being overall. There is no actual way of altering what has already happened, but you can change today and tomorrow in a way that will benefit you just by changing the way you think about what happens to you and doing something about it!

That’s it for now,


  • officialosi December 5, 2019 at

    We definitely just get used to the pain. Almost become numb to it when you experience the same thing continuously

    • Mbalenhle December 6, 2019 at

      True! But those of us who get used to the pain choose so, we just need to learn to not let pain get comfortable with is by using it to get up and better ourselves ✨

  • Cherylene December 5, 2019 at

    Well said, Mbalenhle! 🙂 Time is merely the ‘portal’ we pass through as we encounter the various challenges of life. It is however, our perception of those experiences that help in our recovery and ability to successfully move forward. We are the ones ultimately who have to decide what to take with us on the journey and what to leave.

    • Mbalenhle December 6, 2019 at

      I completely agree with you, how we perceive our experiences plays a huge role on the process of our healing. It’s all a matter of choice indeed ✨

  • cmapillay December 5, 2019 at

    I agree time doesn’t change anything. I feel WE just change over time to be able to cope with such losses and situations that once were traumatic. Very well said by Blaise Pascal – “Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. Neither the offender nor the offended are any more themselves.”

    • Mbalenhle December 6, 2019 at

      Yes! We do do change over time and it’s also important for us to be patient on ourselves when we are going through tough times. And every thing we go through changes us and it’s up to us to choose to change for the better or worse ✨

  • Jerry VanSchaik December 5, 2019 at

    I did suffer a loss some seven years ago. At first, I followed negative thoughts which nearly lead to disaster and more loss. I somehow discovered and realized that events follow energy. Mental energy, that is. And as I cultivated better, healthier thoughts in my head, my life slowly turned around. Thanks for the post!

    • Mbalenhle December 6, 2019 at

      I’m so sorry to hear that Jerry, but I’m truly happy that things turned out good after realizing that events follow mental energy and I absolutely agree with that too! Thank you for stopping by, keep well ✨

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    About Me

    About Me

    Hi and welcome! My name is Mbalenhle K but everyone calls me Mbali for short (say: mm-bah-lee). I am a freelance copywriter who loves all things art, experiences and aesthetics (big time Pinterest gworl 🧚🏽)! I am the founder of Budding Regardless where I talk about mindfulness, self-development and self-nurturing for creatives. Read More

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