DISCLAIMER: THE TOPIC OF THIS ARTICLE A LITTLE TABOO HENCE IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE SOUL AND MIND AND YOU KNOW YOU CATCH FEELINGS EASILY, I ADVICE YOU TO READ SOFTER ARTICLES I HAVE WRITTEN – SUCH AS MY PREVIOUS POST. IF THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU THEN DO READ ON.
There are quite a number of things l do not understand and the more I do my research on those things, the more I actually get confused. I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work. The importance to examine girls to see if they are sexually active or not is just one of those things I struggle so badly to understand.
In some cultures in South Africa (and probably some other African countries too), girls have to get their virginity ‘tested’ and in some cases the point of all this is defended by a certain biblical reference about women remaining pure until marriage. Nonetheless, to me, there is absolutely no logical explanation as to why this has to be done.
Growing up, girls are taught to value themselves and know their worth. They are told to respect their genitals and not to let a man touch them – sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively. Why then should their bodies be ‘investigated’? It’s more or less like telling someone not to touch a piece of candy then taking the candy to the forensic scientists to check for fingerprints every now and then. Where does the trust lie in all of that?
Why are women expected to be pure until a certain age? Is it not up to the individual to decide when they want to start being sexually active? Young girls do not know who to talk to about sex because nobody is even expecting them to commit themselves to it, yet they are still the ones to blame when they get pregnant. Why do we find it fitting to criticize a young girl that gets pregnant when the only people she can turn to for guidance are misleading friends?
Women are expected to live according to their parents expectations of them – not to sexually interact with the opposite gender until the age of 21 (sometimes beyond that). Nonetheless, we are perfectly fine with men being sexual before the age of 21. So… who are they sleeping with?
We are lenient on the men, the majority are given sexual advice when an older guardian suspects that they are active. At a particular age, most families give boys ‘the talk’ regarding the risks of having sex, the rules and regulations, the dos and don’ts, pros and cons and terms and conditions that apply. On the other hand, girls have themselves to depend on since it is not likely for them to be told to sit down and given ‘the talk’ and they will never wake up one day and decide ‘you know what, today is the day I talk to someone about this’.
It is quite impossible to test boys for virginity and that fact alone could be a good enough reason for the ‘investigating’ to come to an end. It’s relevance is fading away now, although for me, there never was one to begin with. Let girls be girls, let them live their lives without having to worry about what society will have to say about them once they engage in sexual activity. Preach the importance of self-respect to girls but forget about telling them when to start sexually interacting with the opposing gender – that is beyond your control.
That’s it for now,