The Truth About Affirmations

June 15, 2020 in Wellness - 4 min read

For a long time before I knew what affirmations were I used to say them every single day and had no idea why my life reflected everything I was saying. So right now you might be thinking that these affirmations I used to whisper to myself helped become the person that I am today but no, far from it. I used to be so negative that whenever a positive thought came to mind I would immediately water it down with something negative. 

These affirmations ranged from, “You don’t come from a good background so why would you think you could ever be successful?” to “A mansion huh? You? Lower your expectations and dreams please,” to “You are extremely skinny,” to “You really aren’t even pretty at all though,” and when I tell you that my life was just terrible, I mean terrible. I unconsciously spoke these affirmations to life. Fast forwarding to 2017 when I turned to self-love when I became single for the first time since 2010, I started loving everything about me and started feeling beautiful and successful and at this time, I still didn’t know much about affirmations, to be honest, I don’t even think I knew what that word meant.

So what are affirmations? To me, judging from my personal experience, I would define affirmations as things that you know about your yourself. Not things that you think you are or things you hope to be but what you already know about yourself. Don’t stand in front of the mirror and chant, “I am beautiful” if you don’t already believe it. It really does not work like that, why do you feel the need to convince yourself that?

There are millions of blog posts and books on affirmations that you can say to yourself but they do not work if that’s not who you are or what you feel. Don’t use affirmations as a way to convince yourself something. If you’re hoping to have a good day today don’t tell yourself you will if you don’t already believe you will. Affirmations are about what you know and believe not what you hope and what you want to convince yourself about.

Affirmations are about what you know and believe not what you hope and what you want to convince yourself about.

When I used to tell myself that I am not pretty, I literally used to see myself getting worse and worse every single day. It’s what I believed in, it’s what I saw and it’s what the universe then chose to give me by throwing in acne, uneven skin color and dark spots. Every day I would wake up to something new and wonder why this is happening to me. That’s how affirmations work though, you see more of what you already know and believe. 

I, personally, am not a fan of following affirmations that we read about, you have to create your own. How do you do that? After a task, after talking to someone, when you notice something about yourself – affirm it. So, if you love cooking and your dish turned out good tonight, acknowledge it and say to yourself, “Damn, I am such a good cook man” (or however you would word it). If a stranger walked by and you smiled at them and gave them a genuine compliment, tell yourself that you are a good and kind person.


Amongst other affirmations I changed in my life, being beautiful is one of them that truly switched things up for me. Ever since I acknowledged that I am in fact beautiful, I keep feeling more and more beautiful every day. And you know what? Now the universe makes me prettier, no more acne, no dark spots, no uneven skin color. Craziest part? I haven’t changed the soap I have been using for years, I am still using the same one I was using when I ‘wasn’t pretty’.

So do you see how this works? An affirmation is a form of self-love, don’t make it about self-hate. Point out all the good and quirky things you like about yourself. If you know you are going to be filthy rich in the near future, affirm it. If you know that your plans are going to work out, affirm it. There is so much power in the words we speak to ourselves so make sure that whatever comes out of your mouth, is pure kindness to yourself.

Affirmations are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and also help you manifest your dreams and help you ‘find’ yourself. Get yourself in the habit of affirming everything good you know about yourself and remember to love and take care of yourself.

That’s it for now,


  • robertcday August 20, 2020 at

    “Get yourself in the habit of affirming everything good you know about yourself and remember to love and take care of yourself.” Love this! Boy, but I am good at leaving positive comments on your blog!! ( Yuh see what I did there? 🙂 )

  • bricuzisaidso July 31, 2020 at

    My view of self also completely changed based on the affirmations I was using regularly without even be aware of it!! My self esteem has sky rocketed this past year simply from saying every single morning after brushing my teeth, “The universe is beautiful and so am I.” This was definitely the best place for me to start as I was coming around to admiring her and her mysterious ways.
    Love love love this post and that you use your platform to uplift others, you rock! Definitely one of the greatest influences I’ve had the pleasure of befriending during my time as a blogger<3 thank you for the constant reassurance that I'm on the right track (I hope you know you are too!!!)
    xo Bri

  • Xoliswa Mnguni July 30, 2020 at

    I was getting hyped the whole time reading this. Love this and love you.

    • Mbalenhle August 3, 2020 at

      I am so glad you did g, thank you so so much for stopping by ✨ love you too ☺️💖

  • kiki | June 19, 2020 at

    i agree with this 100%
    its a work in progress all the time .. i see myself getting more and more pretty when i affirm that i actually am pretty lol
    like it’s really up to ourselves to make these affirmations come true, and our belief.

    very helpful post, and blog for that matter. THANK U

    • Mbalenhle June 22, 2020 at

      Right! They really do work but only if we apply them on what we believe and what we see. The expression, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” also applies to ourselves and how we see ourselves. Thank you so much for stopping by Kiki 💖

  • Nons Mshengu June 17, 2020 at

    Love this so much.
    I truly believe in affirming positive things over your life and speaking positively about yourself. You end up attracting and manifesting those exact things and becoming that exact person.
    Great read!

    • Mbalenhle June 22, 2020 at

      Absolutely Nons! I believe that’s how it works too and tbh it actually makes sense that way right? That’s how we end up seeing more of what we believe in because we manifest it ✨
      Thank you for stopping by, I am glad you enjoyed reading 💛

  • ZAMANGUNI June 16, 2020 at

    I love this. Haven’t been on your blog in a while and I’ve missed out on some great reads.
    Thank you for your uplifting words Mbali, you have no idea how much they’ve helped 💛God bless you.

    • Mbalenhle June 16, 2020 at

      Welcome back!😃💖 I am so glad you enjoyed this read too. God bless you too sis 😊

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    About Me

    About Me

    Hi and welcome! My name is Mbalenhle K but everyone calls me Mbali for short (say: mm-bah-lee). I am a freelance copywriter who loves all things art, experiences and aesthetics (big time Pinterest gworl 🧚🏽)! I am the founder of Budding Regardless where I talk about mindfulness, self-development and self-nurturing for creatives. Read More

    Mbalenhle K.

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