My Commitment Issues

January 20, 2018 in - 3 min read

I feel as though this is an issue most people have, especially when it comes to relationships but I actually struggle with committing myself to activities.


I am terrible. I rarely focus on a movie from start to end. Do you have any idea how long 2 hours is? Just listening to people speak and struggling to find a comfortable position to sit in? Sure, I do enjoy the first 15 minutes of the movie but then I end up predicting what will happen as the climax and what the ending will be like. If I don’t predict, I start asking myself unrelated questions like, “What are my plans for tomorrow anyway?” “Do I need to pee right now?”, “Am I hungry”, “When was the last time I cycled around the neighborhood?”, “Should I get my room painted grey or yellow?”.

Facial products

I tried staying loyal to using Avon’s ClearSkin Professional, I failed. I promised myself that I will wash my face every single day of the week maybe for the rest of my life but I actually only did that maybe 3 or 4 days a week (sometimes 5 days… but hardly). So, I gave up on that. Another problem with me is that I simply cannot stick to 1 facial product – if it doesn’t work for me in 1 week, I am moving on. That’s probably why my face hasn’t stopped introducing me to new pimples almost every morning.


I would tell myself to exercise for 30 days tops but I legit have never completed even ONE week exercising. Sometimes I feel like I want to see results immediately so I get demotivated to keep working out if I don’t gain arm muscle after 1 dumbbell lift. Also, sometimes (yeah, most of the time actually) I would work out so hard until I can’t walk, talk nor breathe then I’d tell myself, “Time out” and that ‘time out’ accidentally lasts for 15 months.


Let us not question how I’ve made it this far in life and how I have been getting good marks and some distinctions. I don’t even know. You know how study tips always tell us to study and take breaks in between? Yeah well, I do that too – maximum of 15 minutes dedicated to studying, minimum of 3 hours dedicated to taking a break from all that heavy studying I did in 15 minutes. I got this all figured out.

Reading books

I don’t know how my mind works sometimes hey, I would read a book as far as the last word of the first chapter and feel like I’ve made it in life because that alone is too much commitment for me. I love the idea of reading books and that’s probably why I buy so many of them with intentions to read them but I never do. Well, I do read them, I just don’t finish them. From July, last year, I started reading a book and 7 months later, I am still on Chapter 4.

As it is a new year and all (hahahaha I don’t trust what I am about to say), I will work on this issue I have. I really need to learn to stay committed, especially on these minor activities. Good news is that, for the last 2 weeks, I have been very loyal to my work-out routine and washing my face twice a day. And to help me stay committed to it, I drew up a habit-tracker and that kinda makes sure that I stick to my daily routines. So far so good.

When school opens I will have to create a very realistic study plan – a plan that won’t make it easy for me to get distracted because wow this 15min and 3hr game I play when I’m studying won’t work for me this year. Also, I watch movies from start to end more often now and I will honestly try to read at least 3 books by the end of this year. It’ll be hard but surely worth it.

If you have any problems when it comes to committing yourself to certain tasks too, let me know on the comment section below. That will surely make me feel a whole lot better about myself.

Goodbye for now,


  • Joan Akob January 27, 2018 at

    Exercise and me do not mix. No matter how much I try…my initial excitement just fizzles out after a while 😂😂. Very relatable post!

    • Mbalenhle January 30, 2018 at

      😂I know hey, the excitement fades into thin air after a couple of days with me 🙆😭

  • MissKymmiee January 22, 2018 at

    Haha! I relate with you on a spiritual level. Great post Hun 💋

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      😅We have major issues! Thanks love 💖

  • The Style of Laura Jane January 20, 2018 at

    This made me laugh because it’s so relatable. I am terrible with books. Unless I get stuck in straight away, I usually put aside and then try to reread months later, at which point I’ve forgot the beginning. But I love the idea of reading. And at the cinema I’m terrible. Always worrying I need to go the loo in middle of the film. lol xx

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      😅l get so happy when l realise that I’m not alone! I really don’t know how some people can read like 2 books a month when l can’t even read 1 book in a year 😄. I’ll probably just keep hoarding them and not reading. I feel like with movies l always get distracted by something then I focus on it throughout the whole movie 🙆 I’m terrible!

  • LiveNotExist January 20, 2018 at

    Me too!! Its insane how easily I get destracted🙈😜

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      😂No matter how hard we try to focus hey

      • LiveNotExist January 22, 2018 at

        Hehe indeed😂like a KID that suddenly see a butterfly 😜

  • randomthoughtsbyhaya January 20, 2018 at

    I can relate to this post so much lol

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      I’m glad I’m not the only one 😅

  • silverliningsblog January 20, 2018 at

    I’m the worst about things like that too! Especially when it comes to working out and skin care and stuff like that. Some days I do great other times I fall off for a few weeks, I try to not be too hard on myself.

  • SHEinspires January 19, 2018 at

    That is the story of my life right there! I fall into nearly all the categories you just listed. I also find it hard to focus. If it’s not a really good movie, my mind travels. Let’s not get started on lengthy speeches, talks and church sermons.

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      😂You just mentioned a good one – church sermons! One of the reasons why I stopped going to church 🙆. I struggle so much with concentrating for a long time, thoughts just wander😩

  • SheerDee January 19, 2018 at

    Hahaha! Lovely post.

  • fraziersracket January 19, 2018 at

    I feel the same way! Especially movies…that is a long time to set and devote to one thing. I could be doing other things, for sure.

    • Mbalenhle January 22, 2018 at

      😅I always try to watch 1 movie everyday to get in the habit of concentrating. It feels like punishment 🙆

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    About Me

    Hi and welcome! My name is Mbalenhle K but everyone calls me Mbali for short (say: mm-bah-lee). I am a freelance copywriter who loves all things art, experiences and aesthetics (big time Pinterest gworl 🧚🏽)! I am the founder of Budding Regardless where I talk about mindfulness, self-development and self-nurturing for creatives. Read More

    Mbalenhle K.

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