My Commitment Issues

I feel as though this is an issue most people have, especially when it comes to relationships but I actually struggle with committing myself to activities.

Movies

I am terrible. I rarely focus on a movie from start to end. Do you have any idea how long 2 hours is? Just listening to people speak and struggling to find a comfortable position to sit in? Sure, I do enjoy the first 15 minutes of the movie but then I end up predicting what will happen as the climax and what the ending will be like. If I don’t predict, I start asking myself unrelated questions like, “What are my plans for tomorrow anyway?” “Do I need to pee right now?”, “Am I hungry”, “When was the last time I cycled around the neighborhood?”, “Should I get my room painted grey or yellow?”.

Facial products

I tried staying loyal to using Avon’s ClearSkin Professional, I failed. I promised myself that I will wash my face every single day of the week maybe for the rest of my life but I actually only did that maybe 3 or 4 days a week (sometimes 5 days… but hardly). So, I gave up on that. Another problem with me is that I simply cannot stick to 1 facial product – if it doesn’t work for me in 1 week, I am moving on. That’s probably why my face hasn’t stopped introducing me to new pimples almost every morning.

Exercising

I would tell myself to exercise for 30 days tops but I legit have never completed even ONE week exercising. Sometimes I feel like I want to see results immediately so I get demotivated to keep working out if I don’t gain arm muscle after 1 dumbbell lift. Also, sometimes (yeah, most of the time actually) I would work out so hard until I can’t walk, talk nor breathe then I’d tell myself, “Time out” and that ‘time out’ accidentally lasts for 15 months.

Studying

Let us not question how I’ve made it this far in life and how I have been getting good marks and some distinctions. I don’t even know. You know how study tips always tell us to study and take breaks in between? Yeah well, I do that too – maximum of 15 minutes dedicated to studying, minimum of 3 hours dedicated to taking a break from all that heavy studying I did in 15 minutes. I got this all figured out.

Reading books

I don’t know how my mind works sometimes hey, I would read a book as far as the last word of the first chapter and feel like I’ve made it in life because that alone is too much commitment for me. I love the idea of reading books and that’s probably why I buy so many of them with intentions to read them but I never do. Well, I do read them, I just don’t finish them. From July, last year, I started reading a book and 7 months later, I am still on Chapter 4.

As it is a new year and all (hahahaha I don’t trust what I am about to say), I will work on this issue I have. I really need to learn to stay committed, especially on these minor activities. Good news is that, for the last 2 weeks, I have been very loyal to my work-out routine and washing my face twice a day. And to help me stay committed to it, I drew up a habit-tracker and that kinda makes sure that I stick to my daily routines. So far so good.

When school opens I will have to create a very realistic study plan – a plan that won’t make it easy for me to get distracted because wow this 15min and 3hr game I play when I’m studying won’t work for me this year. Also, I watch movies from start to end more often now and I will honestly try to read at least 3 books by the end of this year. It’ll be hard but surely worth it.

If you have any problems when it comes to committing yourself to certain tasks too, let me know on the comment section below. That will surely make me feel a whole lot better about myself.

Goodbye for now,
Mbalenhle