In as much as some people refuse to admit it, the truth is that we have been hurt. Big time. I am talking about being so hurt that we wake up at 3 am and the only word that can come to mind is just, ‘Wow,’ Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, that ‘Wow,’ is extended to something like, ‘Wooooooooow,’
But listen, we are human, we were made to love. We have feelings, these things happen – we fall in love and we never really plan to fall in love but it happens because again, we were made to love and things don’t always last forever like how we wish they would. When things go south, just know it’s time to prepare yourself for your healing journey.
You know when you are hurt and when you are hurt, please take the time to heal. Now what exactly do I mean by this? To be very concise – Feel to heal.
Let yourself feel. What we naturally tend to do after leaving a relationship where we were deeply in love is immediately claiming that we’re good a few days and weeks after the break-up. We feed ourselves with lies to make ourselves feel better like – “I talked to a new guy/girl until 3am yesterday so I’m totally over it right?” and “I went out with the boys/girls and had fun without breaking down, so come on, I’m doing great” but that’s not how healing works.
Healing requires you to face the facts – you are hurt, you feel disrespected, you feel like you are not enough so don’t ignore those feelings. Think about everything that’s hurting you every single day and cry it out if you want. Every time you find yourself zoning out to think about what happened, let yourself think about it. Ball your eyes out every single time you get tempted to.
Healing requires you to face the facts – you are hurt, you feel disrespected, you feel like you are not enough so don’t ignore those feelings ✨Tweet
Don’t put a time limit to your healing also, if you tell yourself you have healed in a week after leaving someone you were madly in love with, I am here to tell you that you are lying to yourself. Let it take as long as it should and avoid using distractions to convince you that you have healed.
See, here’s the problem with refusing to heal or admit that you need to heal… you end up being toxic for the next person who comes into your life trying to smother you with love. Although you do this unintentionally and unconsciously, it still ruins relationships for you and sooner or later you are going to start wondering why things aren’t working out for you.
Stop acting savage, heartless and emotionless. That’s not you. Stop saying that you don’t care anymore because you actually do. You know this. Just take the time to heal. I understand that you probably feel embarrassed for opening up, letting yourself being vulnerable and trusting someone but we are too grown to be acting as if we are invincible.
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Too grown to be acting as if you didn’t just spend the last couple of months and years planning a future with your partner. That’s exactly what you were supposed to do, you loved them. Now that you are hurting, focus on finding a way forward and that way is the journey to healing.
I am not so big on trying to get closure but if you can do it the right way, then do it. If your partner hurts you and you had to leave them or if they just decided to leave you, get your closure. Try to understand their reason behind doing what they did, ask them what went wrong and when things went wrong.
When going for closure it’s best to keep in mind that you are not necessarily trying to get them back, you are trying to make peace with the break-up so it’s not the time to be fighting them when they express their point of view especially when you initiated the whole conversation to begin with. Closure is supposed to help you move forward not to go back.
There are thousands of people out there who are your compatibles and I know it might be a bit hard to accept that because you were so convinced that your partner was the one but we move. Give yourself all the time in the world to heal, be kind to yourself, don’t lie to yourself about how you feel, cry if you must, think about it all night, get closure… start your healing journey and don’t let anyone, including yourself, to distract you.
If you don’t heal, it’ll haunt you. As crazy as it may sound, one day you will wake up wanting to cry and think about it all day because it has become your routine but nothing will happen. Nothing will come to mind, you will just be okay, genuinely okay. That’s when you know you’ve healed. Start your journey.