The Kind of Person You Should Be

March 20, 2020 in Motivational - 4 min read

With ‘society’ constantly changing what is deemed normal and how we should be living our lives, it can be hard to catch up. Something new pops up almost every month and we just feel the need to jump into it too. Just because everyone is creating a TikTok account and suggest that you should do it too because you are funny and creative, does not mean you actually have to do it. That is not the kind of person you should be, but hey, let me tell you who you should be though…

Be who you want to be. Sometimes it’s pretty hard to figure out what we actually want, who we actually are and the kind of person we want to be known as. The first step to understanding ourselves is being honest with ourselves and you might be thinking, “Yeah, that’s easy, I’m always honest to myself!” But when you really think about it and go back to previous incidences that might’ve hurt or traumatized you, you will come to realize that at some point during your healing process, you lied about how you were feeling. You lied about getting over your ex who you loved, you lied about being happy and you lied about having a good time at that party.

Get in the habit of asking yourself questions and responding honestly to them to understand what it is that you want, who you are and who you want to be. Change as many times as you’d like to – feel free to experiment with different images of yourself until you have established which one you are most comfortable with. Interested in the hippie life? Try it out, dress like them, live like them and see how that works out for you and if it turns out that you don’t quite like it then try something new. It’s okay to ’try out’ all the identities you are interested in because you will never know what’s really your thing until you try it.

R E L A T E D | A List of People To Always Impress

Another thing that will help you be the best ‘you’ you can be is evaluating the people in your life. Mentally scan all the people that you associate with on a daily basis. Remember, be honest, it doesn’t matter if you have known them since Stone Age, just think about the role they play in your life, how relevant they are and whether they are helping you grow or part of the factors that are holding you back from flourishing. Think about those who are always projecting negativity onto you, yes you give them the best advice you can on what they share with you but bear in mind that it’s easy to consume someone’s energy especially if they are close to you. So, with that said, cut of who must be cut off – you are doing this for yourself.

Now listen, not only should you evaluate the people in your life, you should also have a little sit-down with yourself and evaluate the things that you do and the kind of person that you are. Are you actually happy with yourself? Are you not the toxic one here? Are you going to do something about your unhealthy diet? Why aren’t you getting enough sleep? Think about all the bad habits you want to put a stop to and actually do it and all the good habits you want to start and actually get on with it. Make a list of all the hobbies that you would like to start doing which will also benefit you now (mentally and physically) and in the long run (financially).

Stop doubting yourself – your talents are valid! Don’t be embarrassed about what you are into. So what if you were a big shot and cool troublemaker in high school that is into baking cakes now? That’s your thing, that’s what you are passionate about. Here’s the thing, people are always on standby, ready to judge anything you do or say and you know what’s crazy? No matter how good or bad you are doing, people will still judge you. They will judge you for still being a virgin at 26 and judge you for losing your virginity at 26. They will judge you for being a goody two-shoes and judge you for breaking out your shell and attending parties. You will never win so you might as well do whatever you want to do, whatever feels right at this very moment, do it, be it!

Stop doubting yourself – your talents are valid! Don’t be embarrassed about what you are into

Every time you find yourself wondering who you should be, choose yourself – choose to be you. There’s no fun in living a life that’s not yours, just copied and pasted into your daily routine, you will not enjoy it and it will not help you grow in anyway. The kind of person you should be, is the kind of person you already are and now it’s up to you to decide on what you would like to modify and what to remove because it’s your life and you should never have to feel like you have no control over it. Claim it!


  • Prabhjot Seth April 15, 2020 at

    exactly dear even if we know people from the stone age it is at times difficult to confront that they also provide us with lot of negativity. Even our own bros n sisters give us the setbacks which we would not have dreamt of. So it is better safe than sorry and one should live with awareness. Stay blessed and keep enlightening❤

  • Divine March 20, 2020 at

    I absolutely love this post. At the end of the day the only person you should want to impress is yourself.
    I love the part where you mentioned if you find yourself wondering who you should be, ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BE YOURSELF. This is such an important thing to remember. People will judge you regardless of what you do but staying true smd honest to yourself is what matter the most. I enjoy reading this post 💜💜
    Thanks for sharing 💕.

    • Masamkele March 20, 2020 at

      I shed a tear😭
      Putting me first is the hardest thing ever!
      Not when I still have a boyfriend I love so much 😭🤦🏾‍♀️
      The day I master it will definitely be a dream come true 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🤞🏾
      I needed this but kyafana I know I’ll go back to my bad habits…I won’t beat myself up though. Eventually I’ll get it!

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    About Me

    Hi and welcome! My name is Mbalenhle K but everyone calls me Mbali for short (say: mm-bah-lee). I am a freelance copywriter who loves all things art, experiences and aesthetics (big time Pinterest gworl 🧚🏽)! I am the founder of Budding Regardless where I talk about mindfulness, self-development and self-nurturing for creatives. Read More

    Mbalenhle K.

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