If you have just started the self-love and self-discovery journey, you must know that there are factors that could hold you back from getting any further than telling yourself you are doing this and one of those factors are people who are closest to us.
It might seem insane when you think about it but not everyone you care about really cares about you and in those cases those people tend to either kill your self-esteem/confidence or emotionally abuse you. What makes it so hard for us to pinpoint those people and get rid of them is being blinded – some might argue that loving someone or caring too much about them can blind us from their inconsiderate actions but it is quite true.
Since you are on this journey of loving yourself more, you are going to have to get used to literally checking up on yourself more often and evaluating those you chose to mingle with and this helps you eliminate those who are not contributing to your personal growth and as hard as it may be, you will have to let them go.
So, to help you with that, I have put together a concise list of qualities that you should look out for in people and if they lack more than 3 of them I suggest you reconsider why you are keeping them in your life and what purpose they serve.
People Who Care…
- DON’T MAKE YOU FEEL UNWANTED, CLINGY OR TOO MUCH
- CONSIDER HOW YOU WOULD FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING THEY ARE DOING OR SAYING
- WOULDN’T DO THINGS THAT THEY WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO DO TO THEM
- ARE DOWN FOR YOU
- CHECK UP ON YOU IF Y’ALL HAVEN’T SEEN OR TEXTED EACH OTHER IN A WHILE
- DON’T DELIBERATELY DO THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE
- TAKE TIME TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERNS
- DON’T ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE THEMSELVES THE VICTIM
- TRY TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOUR WHEN YOU TELL THEM ABOUT ACTIONS YOU DON’T APPROVE OF
- NEVER USE YOUR INSECURITIES AGAINST YOU EVEN AS A JOKE
- DON’T WAIT FOR YOU TO TELL THEM WHAT THEY DID WRONG OR ACT CONFUSED WHEN YOU DO TELL THEM
- DON’T PLAY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW YOU ARE SENSITIVE
- NEVER… NEVER MAKE YOU DOUBT THAT THEY CARE
Pay attention to people’s behavior, it’s so easy to fall for words when they are coming from someone we like and care about and as a result we become oblivious to how hurtful their actions really are towards us. Do not, I repeat, do not be afraid to put yourself first, it is your resposibility to take care of yourself, no one else is assigned to that job but you. Do what is right for you and your mental health, you are not being selfish, you are doing what’s best.
That’s it for now,