First of all, what a time to be alive right? I definitely cannot be the only one who wakes up everyday feeling like my reality is a dream. Nonetheless, I hope everyone is doing well and keeping safe by all means possible. So on today’s post I will be answering a couple of questions I received a few days ago on Instagram and I got so excited because of the questions that I received, I love being challenged, I love giving advice where I can and I love questions that make me think deeper and that’s literally all I got…
Q | Any advice on how to keep chasing your goals even when it’s difficult?
A | This is a struggle everyone faces and the crazy thing is that we all tend to think that we are the only ones who don’t have their lives in tact especially when all we see around us are people who are just thriving and seemingly always motivated. I can promise you that that’s not always the case. One thing that never fails to help me keep pushing is looking at how much progress I’ve made and thinking about how far I want to go and that usually gets me excited to work on my goals again. However, I do get days when I am just negative about everything and feel like I won’t ever be great then I spend days and weeks in bed and that’s fine too, you know why? Because eventually, I get up and not give up so don’t feel bad for not being as productive as you had hoped to be, everyday brings a different mood and it’s okay to go wherever it takes you.
Q | How do you heal from a toxic relationship?
A | You let yourself feel. The reason why it is so hard to heal from a toxic relationship is because they are usually long-term and it only ever hits you at the end how bad it has been. What we naturally tend to do after leaving a toxic relationship is immediately claiming that we’re good now. We feed ourselves with lies to make ourselves feel better like – “I talked to a new guy/girl until 3am yesterday so I’m totally over it right?” and “I went out with the boys/girls and had fun without breaking down, so come on, I’m doing great” but that’s not how healing works. Healing requires you to face the facts – you are hurt, you feel disrespected, you feel like you are not enough so don’t ignore those feelings, think about everything that’s hurting you every single day and cry it out if you want. Don’t put a time limit to your healing also, if you tell yourself you have healed in a week after enduring a toxic relationship for months or years, I am here to tell you that you are lying to yourself. Let it take as long as it should and avoid using distractions to convince you that you have healed. Feel then you will heal.
Q | With the services you offer from graphic design to web development, do you have a separate portfolio which you show to clients which reflects the work you’ve done or is there a link that leads them to the designs you have done?
A | Not yet, I am working towards putting together a portfolio which is set to go live on the 15th of November. However, if a potential client is keen on working with me and wants to see my work, I have samples that they can look through and I have also put together documents with all the necessary details about that particular service. The work I will do for clients will go into my portfolio too.
Q | Do you think your height changes how you navigate the world?
A | Well I never said strange questions aren’t allowed right? So yes, it sort of does if you mean the way I conceive the world. Although there are quite a number of stereotypes around short women, I feel like I am not really affected by them that much. I mean, being short makes me feel less confident especially around taller people than me (which is literally everyone) so in most cases I tend to feel inferior, just a little.
Q | Girl! I love love your feed, which app are you using and settings?
A | First of all, thank you so much. To answer your question, I use Lightroom CC to edit my pictures which is a free app to use on your phone and I created all the settings of the preset that I am currently using on my feed and you can find it on my Shop or simply click WITH GRACE to achieve the same aesthetics I have on my Instagram page.
Q | Any advice on how to be alone and independent?
A | Being a middle-born child is pretty much the reason why and how I became independent unintentionally from a young age. I would say the best way to practice independence is by being alone and telling yourself that you are all you have and in that way, you will train yourself to fend for yourself. Also, do not forget that you can be alone and independent but still love the company of other people. So, completely closing people out can actually slow down your progress on trying to be independent because you definitely will need people too, for affection and help and don’t be ashamed to ask for neither of those.
Q | What are you studying? What are some tips you can give for making extra money online?
A | I am currently not studying anything but I definitely will be taking yet another short course this year. I would say that if you want to make money online, make it in an honest way. There are thousands of articles on how to get paid from the comfort of your home and to be honest, they are all either very difficult or very sketchy. So, I would advise you to find something you are passionate about and sell products or provide services from your passion.
Q | Kahle kahle uyabuya noma awubuyi? (Are you coming back home or not?)
A | It is very hard to say right now but I will definitely be coming home at some point next year, also because I have already planned a trip to Cape Town but for now nothing is certain.
Q | What’s your go-to book?
A | I don’t read a lot but a book that I would read over and over again is a book titled THE POWER OF MEANING by Emily Esfahani Smith and I wrote a whole 2000-word review on it here because I just loved it so much.
R E L A T E D | The Power of Meaning | Book Review
Q | How can I gain some traction on my blog?
A | Okay this is going to sound like some crazy advice but it works for me – LOVE YOUR BLOG & CONTENT. What I mean by this is, invest in making your blog/website look appealing, add beautiful pictures that relate to your posts and make it neat with all the necessary pages too. This is advice to literally all the bloggers out there who intend on gaining traffic. Love blogging, visit other blogs and engage with them and they will do the same, promote your posts on social media in creative ways. Do countdowns to when the blog is going live to excite everyone and make sure your titles make a person who hates blogs want to read yours but avoid creating clickbaits because you will lose traffic by misleading your people.
Q | What’s the next big idea?
A | Honestly? I’m trying to hold my horses now. Last year in September when I relaunched my website, I told myself that every 3 months I would start a new project that would contribute to my portfolio and since then I started releasing monthly newsletters, created a shop and started selling my presets and put together a whole bunch of services I offer and in the next 2 months I am supposed to release or start a new project and I really feel like I have been doing too much and need to focus on marketing what I already have instead of adding more for now. So from now, the next big thing will be announced in November when I launch my portfolio website with all the work I have been doing over the last 4 years.
Q | Where are you going when outside is open?
A | The question you were trying to ask here was ‘Where are you NOT going when outside is open’ because what you are asking from me here is a 5-page essay on where I will go once this whole things blows off. I honestly can’t think of a single place I would not go to, I will be everywhere, you will have to make plans with me 5 months in advance if you’re serious. Haha. This question just triggered me because I literally have so many plans.
Q | If you weren’t traveling the world, what would you be doing with your life?
A | I would be working a 9-5 job back home in South Africa but there is a 100% chance I would not be happy because I made a promise to myself during the course of my degree that I would travel first right after completing my degree, then go into the corporate world.
Q | If you are a normal person, trying to take better pictures of food or nature, what are the best first steps to take?
A | If you don’t know me well, this might sound like some weird dumb advice but wipe your camera. I literally say this to my friends and family probably everyday. No matter what phone or camera you are using, the photos are going to come out way better with clean lenses and this is something people tend to disregard but it has become an unconscious habit of mine to wipe the camera first before I attempt to take a picture. Another thing to consider is natural light, I really don’t advice taking photos at night with lights on unless you absolutely have to, go for natural light every time. Third thing would be purpose – why are you taking that picture, what are you trying to capture and is it going to be obvious to your audience?
Q | How do you get over someone you still love?
A | This is somewhat related to the question I received about healing after a toxic relationship. I am not so big on trying to get closure but if you can do it the right way then do it. If your partner hurts you and you had to leave them or if they just decided to leave you, get your closure. Try to understand their reason behind doing what they did, ask them what went wrong and when things went wrong. When going for closure it’s best to keep in mind that you are not necessarily trying to get them back, you are trying to make peace with the break-up so it’s not the time to be fighting them when they express their point of view especially when you initiated the whole conversation to begin with. So I would definitely say find closure and heal.
Q | Why did you quit YouTube?
A | Haha this is such a hard question to answer because I literally didn’t quit nor did I actually really start. I just threw in a few videos here and there because I enjoyed putting them together. This year I actually had planned put monthly content to upload on my YouTube channel and honestly, the pandemic kinda ruined it for me but I’ll get back to it as soon as this blows off.
That’s it for now, until next time
I looooooved reading this! I’m about to binge read all your other articles that I haven’t read yet!! Love love love! Well done!
Thank you so so much Phila 🥺! This means so much to me, thank you for stopping by 💖
Thank you so so much 🥺
Thank you for responding!
Loved it!! Your writing is Impeccable G!!❤️
I enjoyed reading this, i can say you are full of wisdom.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🥰❤️
Thank you so much Mbali. You always get me inspired and motivated some how. Keep up the amazing work! I’m such a fan 💃🏾🙈
Thank you so much sis, I’m glad I have a positive impact ❤️