Sometime ago, I wrote my first Self-Discovery Session and I found that honestly answering thought-provoking questions, really impacted the way I see myself. Sometimes we don’t heal from our traumas because we are in denial of how we feel and sometimes we don’t even know why we are stuck because we don’t know what questions to ask ourselves.
Sometimes we don’t heal from our traumas because we are in denial of how we feel.
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Every now and then, I find myself asking myself random questions – some are personal and some are random but they all in one way or another help me understand who I am and how I view the world around me based on my opinions. Climb aboard, we are on a never-ending journey to getting to know ourselves.
I have been feeling so overwhelmed. Since the year started, I haven’t quite had the time to rest and when I do get a chance to, I’m constantly thinking about what I should be doing but not doing. I have been struggling with getting myself to move – it’s like I am always busy but not productive. I feel so stuck and for the first time in my life I feel like I should’ve achieved way more than I have right now. At the same time, I have been so happy and excited for all that’s yet to come soon – it’s my siblings’ birthday tomorrow (Feb 6), I am spending 6 days in Tulum, Mexico from the 7th of Feb and one of the days (Feb 9) is my birthday, when I come back I am having a big birthday and farewell party then the weekend after that I am moving to Washington D.C. With that said, my emotions are currently all over the place but I’m coping just fine.
I actually recently thought about this question and I realized that I am grateful for so many things right now. My family and best friend for still loving me so much and for basically making me their YouTube channel by spamming me with videos about what they are doing and random updates. My boyfriend who has been so supportive and motivates me to keep going even on days when I feel like I’ve had it, I am also grateful for him for making it his mission to spoil me and being someone I can always confide in. I am thankful for all the love people on social media give me, knowing that I have a positive impact on someone out there really keeps me moving.
As crazy as it may sound, I recently learnt/realized that I really don’t know what I want in life. What is it that I am working for? Living for? Where would I like to settle down – home in South Africa or here in the US? When will I be ready to settle down? Do I want to further my studies or pursue a whole different degree? I genuinely have no answers with regards to future goals and hopes. I mean, I do have some but they are all scattered and I’m not working on any goal, not because I’m lazy but because I don’t know if that’s what I really want. So, in a nutshell, it’s safe to say that right now I am lost.
I definitely have leadership qualities – I am quite bossy and controlling and this has been evident in my relationships and friendships. However, not so many people would notice this because I prefer being a follower. This is one of the reasons why I would rather work a 9-5 job than to run my own business – I would rather follow someone’s rules so that I do not have carry so much responsibility and put my mental health in jeopardy.
More – improving my designing skills, exercising, writing (daily instead of 2 days before I have to post an article), pitching to companies I would like to work with, creating bomb content, texting back and crafting.
Less – scrolling on social media (especially Twitter), sleeping during the day (since I only work from 3pm), shopping and posting on IG stories.
I will be working on these this year.
Absolutely not. I don’t think there’s such a thing, it’s merely a concept engraved in our minds to make us think that there’s someone perfect for us out there. That is not entirely true – assuming that our complete compatible is out there is the main reason why people do not try to understand their partner’s love language and learning how their thought process works too so the moment someone does not love us the way we want to be loved, we are quick to conclude that it’s because we are not soulmates, because if they were then you would immediately click.
I absolutely hate playing the race card but I will justify why I am. Recently, I found myself unconsciously comparing my progress to other bloggers/writers and what I found was that white people have a higher chance at securing opportunities no matter how good or bad their skills are and no matter how long they have been blogging. I know a number of white women who started getting huge cheques months after they started blogging, yet here I am as a black woman, constantly shooting my shot and not getting anything. But we move. It is what it is.
Not quite, only because I have the idea that everyone is willing to listen because they want to know what is happening in my life and not to help me in anyway hence why I tend to disregard and advise or words of affirmation that follow after I open up to someone. However, I do let people know how I feel about them and how they make me feel, I don’t usually verbalize it (which I should) but I do so in my actions and to me, that’s enough.
The habit of coming up with millions of ideas in one second and not implementing a single one. I think sometimes I overwhelm myself with concepts that excite me to the point where I tire myself out by merely thinking about them, then I end up turning a blind eye to them. To improve this, I think I should work on one idea at a time because the more I work on it, the more ideas I get on bettering that idea!
That’s it for now, I highly recommend you take a moment to reflect on your life and answer these questions too. You do not have to share them, just be as honest as you can and ask yourself follow-up questions to if any arise.
