Yes, this is it โ what you are about to read is the best relationship advice no one has ever given you and only advice that will guarantee you and your partner a stable and long-lasting relationship.
You have probably seen pictures circulating on social media and articles about “how to stay strong and happy in a relationship”, “10 ways to keep your partner”, “ingredients all perfect relationships need” and you have heard your friends give you advice on what to do after you have just ranted about what your partner has done.
Everybody just feels as though they have PhD’s in handing out relationship advice โ well the perfect excuse for this is that we are just trying to help and comfort you. 100% of the time (if not 99.9%) when you go running to your friend, parent or therapist and tell them what your partner has done – whoever you are talking to will automatically give you advice on what to do and what to say and how to say it.
Okay, now are you ready for it? Here is the best and realest relationship advice – Do. Not. Take. Any. Relationship. Advice. From. Anyone!
That’s it, thatโs literally it. Don’t take any relationship advice from anyone. The quotes and pictures you see one social media are misleading you into thinking that’s how your relationship should be. If you seek advice from someone, they will give you advice based on how they would handle the situation. If you are asking for advice on what to get your partner as a way of apologizing for what you did – that person would most likely tell you to get what they would get their partner if they were to apologize, assuming that everybody likes the same thing.
So, what exactly should you do now since this article is clearly blocking you from taking any advice from anyone? It’s all on you and your partner. You know and your partner should know what works and what doesnโt work for the both of yโall when it comes to resolving arguments and date ideas yโall enjoy the most.
If texting one another once a week and seeing each other once a year works for the both of you, then do you boo – yes, you will confuse your friends and you will probably be judged by them but what matters is that it works for you. If you don’t consider your partner as being a psychopath when they text you multiple back-to-back messages throughout the whole day, then don’t let any outsider tell you that that’s a sign of a lunatic because you know thatโs how yโall communicate and you both like it like that.
If anyone suggests that you to take your partner out to one of the fancy restaurants in the city but you know that your partner isnโt about that life and just wants is a tomato and cheese sandwich and Oros juice – get them exactly that! If the both of you enjoy taking pictures together and posting them, then do it! If yโall donโt like late night phone calls, then donโt do it! Itโs really that simple, DO WHAT WORKS FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.
Listen, only you and your person can define what the word “relationship” means to you and you are under no obligation whatsoever to explain yourself to anyone or to make them understand how you do things with your partner. This also emphasizes the importance of communication in a relationship because that is literally the only way yโall will get to know what vibes yโall are into and what yโall both just donโt like. Now stop taking relationship advice from people and turn all your concerns to your partner, if you do not feel comfortable with addressing anything thatโs bothering you then just throw the whole relationship in the trash because your partner should make it easy for you to talk to them from the word go.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
23 Comments
so true
Agh I definitely agree! So many relationships could be destroyed if the partners gave in to other peopleโs/societyโs views on how a couple should act like and be. Itโs so annoying that they try to make up an image of how all couples should be, weโre not clones of each other, obviously weโre not gonna like the same things and isnโt this the whole point anyway? To find someone who loves our madness and enjoys our company while doing things that we genuinely like? Although I do think that if somethingโs meant to be it will be and I do believe that no advice could save a relationship that was not meant to be. But I also believe that sometimes our visions could be blurred and we need someone outside of the relationship
to redirect us and help us see things clearer. Loved reading the post!
You are so right! We are not clones, we shouldn’t have to follow the ‘standard’ rules of being in a relationship because we are all different. One way of assuring that a relationship flows well is if partners confide in each other instead of reaching out for help from other people especially when things get a bit blurry – you know what you should do. I was once advised to stay in a relationship I wasn’t happy with and that’s when I realised that seeking help or advice can be misleading too๐. Thanks for reading๐
I definitely agree with you, in most cases we all know in our gut what’s right and what’s wrong tho sometimes it can be a bit confusing. <3 <3
Totes!
This is some fantastic advice! I love it!!
Haha Mblenhle. It’s nice I’m going to agree with you on many points and disagree on some.
When you wrote about partners finding what works for them especially in conflict resolution I almost jumped and shouted hallelujah!
But about taking advise. I don’t think but taking advise is realistic because we all want to take advise and need it that’s why we have friends. So instead I’d say take advise but not from one friend and a mature one so one person’s opinions doesn’t spoil your game
I love this post!
Thanks for stopping by Deshi๐! Yeah taking advice from different people is cool, but it’s also important for a person to not just go for whatever they hear, they should also think for themselves and consider what would work for them too. Advice can help with opening one’s mind to different options but at the end of the day, you should know what’s best for you๐ค
I think we’re on the same page now
You made me laugh. This is true for me. I may hear my sisters/mom advise but in the end it’s always up to me. xo
๐I listen to everyone’s advice, even those that just hand it out without you asking for it๐ but yuup at the end of it all, it’s totally up to us๐
I think healthy and happy relationship is all about respecting each other and once you are are able to respect one another everything will be perfect and nothing can come between you and your partner.
Respect is so important, that’s true! When the respect starts to fade away so does the relationship๐
Good article and I really like, thanks for sharing!
And thank you for reading ๐ค
Girl preach this is such good advice! Wish I actually had a relationship to apply it to haha ๐ xx
๐๐Worry not! You will find someone๐๐
So basically you’re saying that we should totally disregard the advice you just gave and take advice from others in which case we would take the advice that we shouldn’t take advice from you, which would me that we should totally disregard the advice you just gave …
Yuh trying to confuse my head, or what!
๐ Robert.
๐๐Robert, what did you just do to my head? Haha. I got so dizzy just reading that๐ but no, I’m saying y’all should only take this advise and none else๐
But…
Okay, ma’am. ๐
No one knows the situation better than your own self. I definitely agree with you. It was such an enjoyable read ๐
I think a balance of both is important. As long as they both communicate there wants and align there values so that it benefits both parties. But itโs easier said than done. Especially those who are in manipulative relationships or young love or abusive relationship, THEY gotta listen to others outside the relationships. And if you are asking for advice outside the partnership without these circumstances then CHILLLLEEE yโall need to re-evaluate the relationship
This is actually very true! Nobody should be telling you what to do in your relationship but when things go south it’s okay to reach out to someone before you lose your mind