Being Okay With Not Being Okay

August 15, 2019 in Wellness - 2 min read

We have been fed the idea that we are supposed to be happy every day and not only do we consume this idea, we also promote it and believe in it too. When we are asked how we are doing, we are expected to respond with, “Oh I’m good, thanks!” accompanied by a broad grin despite all the worries we have running through our minds all day and suffering in silence. We all go through hard times and it’s about time we learnt that there is nothing wrong with not being at the top of your game every day.

Usually when things have been going well for a while, they start to fall apart and sometimes things go from bad to worse whenever there is a possibility. In those cases, our instinctive reaction is beating ourselves up for not keeping it together and blaming ourselves for how badly things have turned out, even in situations we have no control over.

You should not have to feel like you have to have everything together each day because every day comes with different possibilities and these possibilities are not just determined by us, everything and everyone can determine how our day will turn out. This is why it is important for us to not only accept the good that is happening in our lives but also accept the bad.

Bad days do not necessarily carry negative connotations, they also play a significant role in making us appreciate the good days that we have because without bad days, there would be no possible way to know what a good day is. If we are constantly okay and thriving, we do not grow mentally and emotionally. Mental and emotional growth stems from traumas, self-doubt and negativity if we are willing to turn those factors into lessons and motivation to get out of the rut.

Healing takes time and if you attempt to skip the healing process by completely ignoring it and putting up a face day to day, things can only get worse because you would be blindly sabotaging your health. It is okay if you haven’t healed from your past traumas so long as you are doing something about it – dealing with the problem, seeking help from a friend, family member or professional therapist, and being honest to yourself about how you feel.

Self-doubt and meltdowns are necessary, just as long as you can control it and not let it control you instead. Life has to have balance – a bit of good and a bit of bad. Dwelling too much on the bad for too long can cause a huge imbalance because what you feed is what grows more. Check up on yourself, commit to daily self-reflection sessions, keep in mind that if you aren’t okay then that’s okay and you are doing the best that you can.



  • seaofwordsx August 26, 2019 at

    Beautiful post and so true! 💗 As I suffer from anxiety I also let myself feel whatever I feel. It’s definitely okay to not be okay. It feels like we have to be okay all the time because we see those perfect lives on social media. They say do not compare your life with someone else their highs. We all suffer in life and that’s okay. Life has bad moments and good moments. Nobody has a perfect life. I love to always be real and honest and not fake anything as it’s worse.

    • Mbalenhle September 2, 2019 at

      You are absolutely right! Nobody on social media would post about their struggles and lately since my trip to The Bahamas I have been receiving DMs from my followers saying that they wish for my life so badly and wish they were me and it hurt me because they have no idea that my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But they would not believe that because I do not share the storms I go through alone.

  • officialosi August 19, 2019 at

    You’re right!

  • Masha August 16, 2019 at

    Great post. “We have been fed the idea that we are supposed to be happy every day” yes and I think one of the biggest misleading paces is social media, when you look at feeds where these women are always perfect, with perfect make up, and perfect children, and perfect homes, com’on. You are so right, self doubt, yes we all have it. Melt downs, we all have it, but we need to know how to balance it all. Thank you

    • Mbalenhle September 2, 2019 at

      Hey Masha, thank you so much for stopping by. I totally agree with you, social media has been so consistent in misleading people. Nobody’s life is perfect, those that seem to have perfect lives also have one of the biggest meltdowns and problems that we wouldn’t know how to deal with. That’s the way of life though, there needs to be balance ✨

  • tsepotheview August 15, 2019 at

    People need to understand that being not OK makes you to appreciate being OK because if everyday you OK then you wouldn’t even know what being not OK means and remember life is about fighting so if you OK then there would be no point to living because there would be nothing to fight for…

    • Mbalenhle September 2, 2019 at

      Yes, you are absolutely correct! For one to actually appreciate the good, they have to go through the bad and grow through it ✨

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    About Me

    About Me

    Hi and welcome! My name is Mbalenhle K but everyone calls me Mbali for short (say: mm-bah-lee). I am a freelance copywriter who loves all things art, experiences and aesthetics (big time Pinterest gworl 🧚🏽)! I am the founder of Budding Regardless where I talk about mindfulness, self-development and self-nurturing for creatives. Read More

    Mbalenhle K.

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